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Posts Tagged ‘Life’

 It is the middle of July and on this balmy hotter than July day I find it is “sweet to do nothing.” I wasn’t always able to own doing nothing. For the better part of my life I had to be busy-busy-busy or I felt as though I was a lazy loafer just wasting my time. These days a few hours (or an entire day) of  listening to music, reading a novel, watching reality tv, having a long conversation with good friend on the phone and playing “catch” with my kitty Marcello Mastroianni is the heaven I know. I find now that I actually know how to  relax I am  able to magnetize more interesting people into my life. People who actually love life! I have moved away from the dawn of the desperate and into the salon of the pretty darn clever.

 I have a seminar series I offer on the phone called Life In The Mirror. The seminar is based on the theory that life as you know it is a reflection of your soul-life. Who you are, what you are, and who you may want to consider being. The people we attract into our lives mirror what we love and what we fear. The toughest trials and relationships reflect bits and pieces of our disowned selves. These particular relationships have the emotional charge of a live cable wire. We are fiercely attracted but uncomfortable (to say the least) in them. Shamed and disconcerted by them. The stronger the denial the closer we move into the mirror. At some point we realize it is time to accept, surrender, and integrate the disowned self. Our lives are at sixes and sevens until we do. Oh, let me count the ways! In my life I over-identified with being “on purpose” i.e. useful. So, of course I attracted in people who wouldn’t know their purpose if they tripped over it in broad daylight. Send in the clowns. Depressed, world-weary, clueless, whiney, useless, b-o-r-i-n-g boring!

 If you disown your power you will attract in people in who use power. My judgmental attitude and fear of being a professional lay-a-bout kept me in a spin. When you are spinning you don’t see life very clearly. These days I get “my stuff” done but I take my loafing seriously. As a reward for my awakening I find myself swimming in waters with an exotic class of fish…I mean people. People who know their porpoise, I mean their purpose, and know how to be joyful and grateful at the same time. I’m so NOT bored. Have a sweet one!

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June has been bustin’ out all over and as the clock strikes midnight it will finally be over. I’m not complaining mind you I’m just sayin’. Many of the clients I Read for have been going through it big-time. I answer the phone and they are already in tears. (Usually the tears don’t come ’til after I tell ’em all the things they don’t want to hear.) There are months when we seem to glide through life and months where we  pray we can keep up with it all. It has been one of those months. The praying kind…not the gliding kind. Decision after decision has been made and now we pray for the best outcome. Nothing really dramatic – just change. Just life. Just it’s-about-frickin’-time you looked at this whatever, gave it a name, and stopped dancing around the issue. Big girl panties on and handle it! So, we handle it. A few days or a few weeks will go by and the seeds of our decision will bear fruit. You have to trust what you did was the right thing to do. This will happen over and over again throughout our lives. It’s a process of pain, relief from pain, then fresh new energy. The process will have us feeling better than we had been in a good while. Why were we acting as if we were having a root canal without anesthesia? Perspective is everything. Change is not easy when you aren’t certain if the exchange will be fair. Something will replace the something we know? Will it be enough? Will there be a period of emptiness? Unbearable emptiness. Oh, no! Not emptiness.

We need to learn to experience emptiness and enjoy the lightness of being it has to offer. Remain faithful knowing full well emptiness never lasts for long. I mean look at that hall closet you just cleared out in December, right? How about the trunk of your car? Empty just isn’t a forever kind of thing. We humans need to fill up the spaces and we do. It would behoove us to become less accepting of filling them up with junk in the first place. It doesn’t matter if it is our closets, or our stomachs, or our hearts. Our high-tolerance for riff-raff will get into trouble every time. How do you know you are making the correct decisions for your life? You don’t know! But here is how we may know a little better. Pay attention to how you feel after you make a decision. Do you feel relieved? Honor the outcome of the decision. Get in the habit of putting your feelings of relief and a positive outcome together. Ask for signs along the way.

Yesterday, I was at the beach. Children were everywhere, laughing, and flying salt-water taffy colored kites. The restless ocean was a deep lavender-blue. I had never seen the ocean this color before. It was remarkable. I closed my eyes and said the prayer I had come to the ocean to pray. When I finished my prayer I opened my eyes only to notice a tiny butterfly the same color of the ocean lighting on a flower. The flower was the exact same color as butterfly… lavender-blue. It may not seem like much but I took it as a sign. A sign I had come to a correct decision and my prayer would be answered. I left the seaside feeling satisfied. Today, I went to the paint store to pick up color chips. I’m leaning towards the blues and feeling sunny yellow. Have a sweet one!

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I am a great believer in remaining present. But when we give in to despair and stop believing in new possibility, sometimes the answer is in the past. If you lack spiritual stability a fall from grace is inevitable. Whenever I feel as though I may have lost my seat on the Success Express I do this exercise. It has never failed to reconnect me to forgiveness and healing. I close my eyes and recall the first home I ever knew as a child. Our family jokingly called it The Green Mansion. By the time I was born, the two-story Victorian beauty with the deep front porch already had decidedly faded charms. The house was located on The Bluffs in Pittsburgh’s Hill District. In those days the steel mills were still in full-time operation and the acrid smell of the river (“The Mon”) permeated not only Cliff Street but half of the city of Pittsburgh. In my mind I walk up the stairs to my childhood home and enter the dark, dank hallway. I visit and revisit every corner, thought and feeling I can muster, as I time travel through the days I spent there. I go back to remember. This was the place where I experienced my first feelings of love and disappointment. This was where I heard my first jazz and climbed my first cherry tree. This was where I ate my first Sunday dinners surrounded by a huge, crazy, loud, loving family. This is where time lost its way. This was my beginning. Different than some beginnings. Not perfection but perfect just the same. Bittersweet and mine. The past is huge. Sometimes the shadow side of yesterday can haunt and daunt. All we can ever do is use it as an anchor to build a bridge and let life whisper in the new day. We’ve all come a long way. All of us. From blame to blessing. From denial to acceptance. From grief to relief. All of it serving the sacred. All of it there to give birth to and welcome the gifts we have to offer today. Sometimes it will take a trip to yesterday to remind you of the blessings of today. The present will still be here waiting for you upon return.

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Nothing like passing through a ring of fire, eh? We have all been there and done that. We will all most likely do it over and over again before we go to our great reward. There is tremendous power in the storm but to the faithful there is ever more power in the sweet afterglow of the rainbow. When you bring your true heart to all you witness and endure in life you cannot help but be changed for the better by your experience. Miracles are entirely necessary and willing to happen. Our faith is sure to be tested before the miracles reveal themselves. So what’s a poor ol’ faithful wretch to do? No matter what you have to go through to get to the other side of your worst experience, be loving. Loving to others. Loving to yourself. Consider always who you really are and who you really want to be. Consider who you want to be remembered as being. Spiritual lessons are often difficult. Still, every time you are knocked to your knees and rise again you grow another heart. A heart wiser and more capable of living a purposeful life. A heart Spirit can use effectively now because it once was broken and survived to thrive. Hallmark moment…maybe? But there you are my little butterfly.

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 The unlived life. Dreams all your own lost along the way. Or maybe the dream life of a parent you tried to fulfill in vain. Where do these lives go? I suppose they go where all unlived lives go. They are idling somewhere in time between childhood and the day you decided you were a grown-up. As a grown-up it was time to put away such foolishness. It doesn’t matter if you were 16 or 60 when you made the decision. At some point you thought it prudent to lose the dream. Into the ether it disappeared along with your Grammy acceptance speech and your first dream house by the sea. Gone, gone, gone but not ever truly forgotten. On odd occasion your old dream come to mind. You feel wistful. A gamut of feelings catch in your throat. Your heart yearns for the time when dreaming of that life was all you ever really wanted. Wouldn’t it be great if you could go back there? Take all the knowledge and experience you have today with you. Push a reset button and live your unlived life. Think about it? 

 Make no mistake now, the fact you aren’t living the life doesn’t mean aren’t grieving the loss. The loss of a dream is much more painful than the loss of reality. Why do you think we take it so hard when a great love is finally over? It’s not that we forget the small and large acts of lovelessness bringing the relationship to its end. The unrealized dreams attached to the “we” involved makes it hard to let it go gracefully. The unlived life attached to the relationship calls to us like a haunting refrain of a Chopin etude in a minor key. What to do? To tell you the truth I’m not entirely certain. I am certain about living life just right though. Whatever is just right for you is the life you should be living. If it takes a hundred phone calls and heaven knows what to realize all or part of  your unlived life? I say go for it! Just do it. Don’t allow anyone or anything to keep you from your unlived life one more day. If you feel your unlived life where your happiness lies why would you just let it go? You are older. Hopefully wiser. You are unlikely to do anything really stupid because you have more to lose now if you do. If your dream was really meant for you? You can manifest it. It’s never too late. The Heart of the Divine has been holding on to it as a precious keepsake for you. Just waiting for the day when you had enough courage to ask for it back. Ask. It belongs to you. Take full ownership. You two take good care of each other. Have a sweet one!

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It’s Saint Patrick’s Day. As my family is from the Middle East/Mediterranean parts of the globe – I am not so Irish. I  just love St. Patty’s because there is a feeling of joy and goodwill at the heart of the celebration. The whisky and green beer libations probably don’t hurt either. Look, any excuse to wish anyone a Happy Anything is a beautiful thing as far as I am concerned. At least the intention is there to lift someone up and put a smile on their face. Most of us are in the habit of sending kind thoughts to those we love. Often we will send prayers of support to those we don’t know but are in need. I have a prayer circle attached to the weekly letter Friday’s Child. I also have an altar I use to center my intentions and do what ever I can for my family, clients, and friends by way of Higher Thought.

 By a window in my great room resides a table full of photos in tiny frames I have collected over the years. My friend asked me the other day if I didn’t get tired of dusting and cleaning all those dozens of mementos all of the time. Truthfully, I am at a point in my life where if I never saw another feather duster or bottle of Windex? I would die a very happy, dusty kinda gal. Just this one little chore of tending to these pictures is still a joy to me. As I pick up each of these treasures I think about the person in the picture. I try to get a feeling for how they are that day. Are they happy? Are they healthy? Are they prospering? How are their loved ones doing? I end this ritual with a prayer for their Highest Good and the hope that all is well for them. If you start your day wishing others well you can’t go wrong. You can only feel better when you offer kind thoughts into the daily mix. Kind thoughts for others has the benefit of pulling up the “off notes” of the day to bring us into the harmony of life. Now as I am as full of the blarney as the next person here is my Not So Irish Blessing for you. “May angels strive to protect you. May the your heart of love shine bright. May sweet comfort be yours always. Good health, good luck, goodnight.”

 

 

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Jumped in my trusty Honda and drove out Hwy 12. Life affirming sunny-yellow Acacia trees waving to and fro in the chilling breeze. Our state flower (California Poppy) just beginning to pop out their happy orange faces here and there along the way. It was a rather nippy day but with Andrea Bocelli’s ever-embracing tenor to keep me warm I was feelin’ no pain. Bliss quotient? Off the charts. I’ve been living in Sonoma for four and a half years now. I surely love these weekly jaunts I indulge in. It’s all about the magic in the wine and music, eh? I’m not sure how much longer I will be staying in NoCali. My intention is to be thankful for every moment I am blessed enough to call it home. Even a Psychic cannot know where life will lead her all the time. I actually enjoy the mystery therefore I’m not asking any questions. My nature doesn’t allow me to become attached and I have become adept at surrendering to what is. When and if it is ever time for me to go I’ll know. I have spent many hours this last week looking into what it would take to start a non-profit organization or L3C for an idea I’ve been toying with. In between this current passion I tended to my usual passions. Read for a couple of new clients and a few old ones I hadn’t spoken with in a while. As long as I’ve been doing this work it still rocks my world. I love that moment when the fog lifts and the person I am Reading for is finally poised for positive action. I studied Italian. Did a bit of writing. Made pasta sauce on Sunday with Opera playing in the background. This culinary ritual is as close to going to church as there will ever be for me. I did my volunteer stint at the pet shelter. Made a couple of new canine buddies. I’ve been thinking a lot about passion lately. What it means to have it. The debilitating effects of living without it. Here’s what I know I  know more clearly than I have ever known it before. Not surprising as it is the day after The Oscars. Look… some folks win shiny gold statues and some folks don’t. The people going home without the statue are still winners. Living a life on purpose is the win! Doing what you love is a win! Waking up everyday is a win! Being rewarded with “the gold” is a karmic toss of a coin. Life is not about receiving statues of recognition. We need to focus on our bliss and honor our passions with passion. Allow ourselves to follow the sweet scent of love in all its many disguises and drink it in. Know how to recognize joy when we are feeling it and expand on it. Stir the sauce and lick the tasting spoon with relish. Turn up the volume when we hear the music to our favorite songs. And the Oscar goes to…

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